Photo by Rose
To better understand how inner Sydney residents make connections in their daily lives, we asked community members for their insights and experiences.
Yasmin, 25, student
The internet was instrumental in finding social connections as a young, queer woman. Obviously, I understand the importance of the social media ban, but I think it puts the onus on the individual rather than the social media companies.
I personally hated social media. But now, I know how to use it better. I know what is good to engage with to help me feel connected. It’s a kind of love/hate thing. It’s so important to create and sustain community and so many young people, especially LGBTQ} youth and marginalised people, rely on social media to connect. But it can also make us feel disconnected.
I started posting on Instagram when I was 14 as a way of sharing things with friends when we weren’t physically at school together. But as I got older, I noticed that people would only share the “good parts” of their lives. Only seeing this curated side of people’s life wasn’t good for my mental health. Because of this dynamic, I felt more lonely and less connected.
When I take social media breaks, I feel more involved in my day-to-day life, but more disconnected from the world. On TikTok, for example, when I don’t have it, I don’t understand the trends. There’s discourse that I feel like I’m not a part of.
Anna, 37, Administration Officer
Now that I have a dog, I talk to my neighbours a lot more. I think people find it hard to make small talk, particularly since lockdown. Having a dog, especially a puppy, gives people an opening to make conversation. I think smalltalk is really undervalued.
Some people think it’s superficial, but you never know how isolated someone is that you see every day. It might mean a lot to them. With a dog, I feel like I have a lot more little conversations with people that I used to just pass on the street.
Kim, 43, Filmmaker
I moved to Redfern in 2019, so it’s been 6 years now, and I still feel like I’ve just arrived, like I’m a tourist. I don’t feel like I’m part of a community. I miss seeing people on the street and at the shops that I know and recognise and can chat to and catch up with, it’s as if we all live next to each other but in our own separate worlds, moving about the neighbourhood individually, not collectively.
I work from home, so that’s isolating already. Sometimes, I don’t go out at all if I have a busy day, my interactions with others are through emails or phone calls. I play sports, so that’s the main way I get involved with people who live in this part of Sydney; I see them a couple of times a week, but actually it’s hard to make friends there, I rarely see my teammates other than training sessions or games.
I’m looking for ways to be more involved with my neighbours, I saw there was talk of a community garden and I’m planning to follow that up. I’ve got flyers on my fridge about activities at the community art space on Redfern Street but I barely go; I guess work commitments mainly stop me, and the fact I don’t know anyone else that goes. I think about asking my neighbours over for dinner or to any parties I put on, and I have done this before, but few come, and only one has asked me back. Making friends and a community is possible, but you need to put in a lot of effort, time and commitment. If it’s not happening organically, I should try to create it myself. I’m hoping to do so this year by putting on a documentary club, somewhere nearby. So I’m still hopeful I can finally find a community for me here in Redfern this year. I’d love that.
Kerrie, 69, retired
I grew up in a house with 11 people, so I love living alone now! I only knew one other person when I moved here in 2022, but eventually I made connections. There are heaps of ways to meet people if you want to. You just have to be a bit confident. I think some people are just whingers.
I did it by going to the park. First I saw people doing laughing yoga, and they invited me to join in. Another time, I was going for a walk after the doctor, and I saw a group of women doing Tai Chi.
These women came up to me and told me about Tai Chi. Now we go to the club and play Rummy-o. I never thought I would do that sort of thing. When I first saw it I didn’t think I could learn it. Now, I get so excited I can’t do a poker face. They invite me to Yum Cha, and we all go out for lunch when it’s someone’s birthday. When I got COVID, they were the ones who called me. They said, “When are you getting better? We need you!”
There are lots of things to do at the seniors centre. I never thought I’d go to a place like that, but you can get a sandwich for five dollars and a coffee for one dollar. They also have trips away, bowling, craft groups, and book swaps. I should go there every day to get lunch. And if you need the bathroom, it’s nicer than a public toilet. You can go there if it’s hot or cold in your house. You can sit there as long as you like. Put a bit of lippy on, and someone will come and talk to you eventually. And buses will pick up and drop you home.
I know that It is lonely being a carer. One of the best things they do is respite care. They come and pick the person you’re caring for for the day and drop them home as well, so you have time to rest or run errands and see other people.
Libraries are also good. I know men and young people feel lonely. I would say, you can go to the pub and not drink.
Rose, 57, Teacher
I’ve noticed that kids have fewer social skills coming into kindy. People like to blame the breakdown of social connections on covid and lockdown, but these things were already happening before the pandemic.
I don’t think they play with each other after school either; they go home and go online. I think parents have to take some responsibility. If they want their children to be resilient and have the skills to make meaningful connections, then they can’t pop them in front of the iPad.
Leo, 15, student
I mainly connect with friends at school. Sometimes, I talk to them on Roblox when I’m at home.
Paddy, 55, Uber driver
My parents-in-law are some of the most socially connected people I know, and they have only lived in Sydney for six years. As soon as they moved here to help look after the kids, they reconnected with people they grew up with in Saigon.
Facebook helped, but within a day or so of being in Sydney, they had reconnected with about a dozen people, some of whom they hadn’t seen since 1977 and had limited contact with via family and letters.
Now, they are very involved in the Vietnamese temple, volunteering to cook there every month for a few days around the moon celebrations. They are also very involved with the Chinese community group CASS in Bankstown, My father in Law is a key organiser there; they volunteer several days a month to organise and run events for elderly Chinese, like dancing and outings.